Telemarketers

Ring Ring Telemarketers Sing

"Mr. Doe you've won a free cruise,

It's a chance you don't want to loose."

"No, no, no" I say.

Responds she, "but there is nothing to pay."

"No, no, no" I insist,

"Please take this number off of your list."

"Well what about Las Vegas then?

Give the old wheel of fortune a spin."

"No, no, no I won't go!"

"Well then do you want to ski in the snow?"

"I want to sit in my chair,

I don't want a free trip anywhere."

"Mr Doe you're not being rational,

What if the trip was international?"

"How about Costa Rica or Belize?

What about Italy or Greece?"

"No, no. I want to stay here!

I hold my country very dear."

"I have good news Mr Doe,

I know the place you'd love to go."

"Mr. Doe you've won a trip for two,

To historic Timbuktu."

I say, "Golly gee golly!"

"You mean I get to go to Mali?"

"That's right Mr Doe and you get to choose.

To travel on a camel with one lump or twos?"

Timbuktu part 2

(Fiction)

The telemarketer said all travel they will reimburse,

So to get to Miami I booked a chauffeur and a hearse.

If the thought makes you frown,

Think of the advantages to travel lying down.

In Miami I booked a yacht and crew,

I told them to set sail for Timbuktu.

It was quite pleasant at sea,

I was enjoying crumpets and tea.

Then by radio the captain was told,

Return to port and lock me in the hold.

It was the telemarketers first day on the job,

Her supervisor thinks this trip I did rob.

Back in Miami they sent me to jail,

The cost of the trip was set as my bail.

In jail I am having a ball,

It is the one place were no telemarketers call.